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Ok, so once again, I would like to apologize for not posting in like 2 months, I know some of you check in regularly because I always watch the view chart on my blog. So I'm always frustrated when I have nothing for you. I do have more art to share, and once I'm done with this semester I hope to have more writing for you as well. But for now, I'm going to post something a little different from what I usually do. I'm going to get a little bit serious today.

At the time of writing this I am torn between two desires, the desire to love again, and the desire not to be hurt again. I think the reason a lot of relationships fail is because one partner or the other, or both do not know what they really want. So for myself, and maybe for the benefit of others who have come to a similar realization and need an idea of where to start, I am going to attempt to compile a list of the qualities that I desire in a mate. Here it goes:

• 1. You put God first. What do I mean by that? Let me explain. I want someone who loves God, and not just outwardly for the world to see. Pretending to be perfect will only upset and hurt me in the long run. I don’t expect you to be perfect and I hope you will provide me that same courtesy. What I’m looking for in this area really is just an inborn desire to love and serve God, because you want to, not because you have to or are supposed to.
• 2. You need to be a kind hearted person. Genuine in your kindness, I cannot and will not abide someone who has no manners, no cares, and no sense of properness toward other people. If you are a fake you can just keep walking because I’m not the guy for you. I despise fake people.
• 3. You're not afraid of what people think. You are true to who you are, always. And you be yourself regardless of who you are around. I don’t want someone who's constantly obsessing about how they look or are perceived by others. If that's you, then we would not work out to well, nor for very long. I am not afraid to share even my worst choices with people, because their opinion is not the one that matters, there's only one opinion that should matter (see bullet 1).
• 4. You should be open minded. I try to look at people for who they can be, who they want to be. As aforementioned, I am not flawless my own self, I don’t expect you to be either. But I will try to see you for what you can become. I would want and need you to extend that same courtesy to me. That is not all though, being open minded about people is a great start, but you need to also be open minded to new ideas and new experiences. You should have an open mind about everything. I love learning new things and exploring the world around me, I would like someone who I can do that with.
• 5. You need to be intelligent. I don’t necessarily mean you need to have a bunch of schooling. But I should be able to hold an intelligent deep conversation with you. I need someone who I can talk nerdy to and who can do the same back. Someone who is not only not afraid to learn new things, but has a driving passion for it. You need to be intelligent enough to recognize when I’m joking and when I’m serious. And as a caveat to this bullet, I need to be viewed as an intellectual equal, NOT your inferior or superior.
• 6. I have a very unique sense of humor, filled with puns, silliness, and sometimes dark humor, you should be able to enjoy my jokes, you don’t have to laugh if you don’t think its funny, some of the jokes I make really aren't. But I need someone who understands my humor and gets it. If my jokes annoy you or you don't like them, we probably wouldn't last long.
• 7. You should be passionate about stories, whether they are books, comics, manga, movies, or all four. I am a nerd, and I need a mate who is also a nerd. Firefly, Supernatural, Doctor Who, if none of these are recognizable to you, if you do not at least love one of them enough to talk about hours about it, we are not meant to be. If you have not seen any of them, see bullet 4. You should also (though this part is not necessarily required but its definitely a huge plus) love to write. You don’t have to be published or anything, just love to write, and express yourself in paper. Any form of art really, you just need to have artistic talent of some kind. If you cannot express yourself through some art form, you cannot adequately express yourself in a relationship.
• 8. You should be a hopeless romantic, like me. If there's one thing I've learned about myself, its that I’m super cheesy, and I can get very romantic. I like doing little things randomly for my partner. Having that appreciated is one thing. But having it reciprocated could quite possibly make me cry tears of joy. And just an fiy, when I say romance, I mean ROMANCE, NOT DRAMA. If you are a drama queen, well, I don’t know if we could even be friends. At least not very good friends.
• 9. Be jealous, I know that sounds weird, so let me explain what I mean. I don't mean be super clingy, and I don’t mean be untrusting of me. What I mean is this, I tend to get jealous (despite doing my best not to.) and I believe that if a little of the jealousy was reciprocated, if I wasn't the only one afraid to loose my mate. I think that would help keep the real jealousy, the “Oh my gosh this guy is crazy, he just drove across an entire city because I didn't talk to him all day.” to a minimum.
• 10. You need to be my kind of crazy. I’m a little off center, I have more quirks than most people and I’m not afraid to show it. I will randomly shout garbly goop just for fun, I like to act like Jim Carry on an off day, or Johnny Depp on a good day. I am quite a character sometimes, and I can switch from being silly and goofy to being quite serious at the drop of a hat. I’ll reiterate, you need to be my kind of crazy.
• 11. You need to know what you want. I’m telling you what I want, and what I want is essentially what I am, for the most part. If you don’t know what you want, don’t waste my time, its not ok to let someone fall for you, and then say, “I’m sorry but you're just not what I want, I just didn't know until now.” or something along those lines. If you don’t feel like you could write down a list similar to this one, then you probably don’t know what you want in a partner, and as such you would end up hurting me, and maybe even you. If your going to be with me, you better know what you want, you better have thought it out long and hard. And if you choose me, I better be what you want, do not let me fall for you if I’m not what you want. You're not being kind by not turning me away, you're being cruel.
• 12. You should be ok with silence, I’m an introvert a lot of times. (Though not always) Because of that sometimes I like to just enjoy being with my mate, words are not a necessity at all times. sometimes just sitting together quietly, or just cuddling can be fulfilling for me just as much as any other romantic gesture. Social interactions can tire me out, and if someone can just be there without requiring me to socialize with them when I get to that point, and can just enjoy my presence, and let me enjoy theirs, it really means a lot.

Now for a few miscellaneous nitpicking items that are not a huge deal but are still important to me:

• If I’m going to have a pet, it needs to be a dog. Living with cats for several months has taught me that I do not like them.
• I’m highly opinionated with it comes to my nerd culture. I respect others opinions, but I expect the same respect for mine in return.
• I kind of already covered this and if should go without saying anyway, but if you’re not an honest person, go away.
• I’m not racist, but I make racist jokes, if you can’t handle that, you can’t handle me. Also you're probably racist.
• I want kids, if you don’t like kids, we won’t work.
• Independence is attractive, feminism is not. If you get offended because I hold a door for you. I will close that door and hold it shut.
• I’m a small town man, and I prefer small town people. They understand me, and I understand them. You don’t have to be from a small town. But chemistry will probably work better if you are a small town gal.
• I have several dreams. I would like to live on my own private land in the back woods of Montana some day. I would like to visit Space at least once before I die. And I would like to enrich peoples lives through my art and writing. If you can appreciate and maybe even share in these dreams, we are good. If you can't at least appreciate them, we are not so good. These are not pipe dreams for me, they are goals. And as goals, I require a partner who can share in them and work with me to achieve them.

Alright, there you have it. This is what I want, this is what I’m looking for. After the last relationship I was in, I was so devastated that I vowed that I would never put myself out there again, that I’d never let myself be hurt again. I realize now that was a slightly foolish thing to vow. If you fit these qualities, all of the numbered ones at the least, I would be willing to give you a chance. I would be willing to risk being hurt if you're the person I've just described, because I believe that the person I described would not hurt me. I believe that I could share my life with the person I've just described. If you are that person, I’m waiting, I’m looking, and I hope to find you.

I may lose some viewers for this post, I don't really mind that. I think this could help people, so I'm putting it out there.

Until next time, Write ya later!

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